Be Our ALXentine

The regular newsletter is off this week but we couldn’t let this romantic holiday pass without proclaiming our deep and abiding love for ALX in the form of some classic Valentine’s rhymes. We hope you enjoy these extremely stupid expressions of our genuine affection for (and amusement with) this wonderful city we all call home.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you build us a bike lane
We’ll probably sue

Roses are red
Condos are tall
We have too much pizza
And Zoning for All

Roses are red
Travis loves Taylor
Your work doesn’t count
Unless there’s a mailer

Roses are red
We’re as dense as Madrid
And the Witness Tree
Knows what you did

Roses are red
Some trees are sequoia
Bring back integrity
Or we’ll file a FOIA

Roses are red
You’re not being pranked
If you vote for more housing
You might just get spanked

Roses are red
Despite what year it is
Get a condom from Del
Everyone has syphilis

Roses are red
Yard signs are in fashion
Stop the Arena
Graphic design is my passion

Roses are red
Our Christmas tree’s thick
We’re gonna freak out
If you paint one more brick

Roses are red
Violets are blue
The mayor dug a poop tunnel
Underneath you

Ok we got things started but we want to hear from you too - post your dumbest funniest best ALX valentines in the comments!

You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.