Present Progressive

Like many residents of the greater DC area, we often find ourselves perplexed by New York City politics. It’s just so weird up there. What the hell are they doing? In the last 25 years they’ve elected mayors who have tweeted that they can telepathically communicate with dolphins (Michael Bloomberg); dropped and maybe killed a groundhog (Bill De Blasio); held history’s most bizarre press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping before being disbarred in multiple jurisdictions (Rudy Giuliani); been accused of living in New Jersey (Eric Adams); claimed that New York gets special energy from an underground stockpile of rare gems (Eric Adams again); and likened their leadership style to that of a pilot trying to crash-land a plane with no parachutes (you guessed it… Eric Adams). It goes without saying that everything we’ve described in this paragraph, we learned against our will.

But despite the fact that New Yorkers have historically been super bad at self-governance, recent events suggest the tides may be turning. Since the national news has been even more awful than usual lately, we thought it might be nice to talk about a positive story—the buzz around Zohmentum and what it might mean for us here in Alexandria.

Zohran Mamdani, who handily won New York’s Democratic mayoral primary last month, ran a bold and unapologetically progressive campaign. You’ve probably heard a lot about it already so we won’t rehash all the details—after all, this is ALXtra, not NYCtra [Editor’s note: that doesn’t even make sense. “Cee-tra” isn’t a word. Do you… do you not understand what our name means??]. The key points for our purposes are that his platform focused heavily on affordability concerns, and that it proposed experimental new policies instead of tinkering around the edges of existing programs or rehashing the same old proposals. Both of these approaches appealed to voters for whom current economic and political systems are not working.

Obviously it helped that his main opponent was serial sex pest and nepo baby failson Andrew Cuomo. Even still, his win was resounding enough that we think lessons can and should be drawn from it [Editor’s note: if this were a New York newsletter, “NYCetera” would be a decent option, or maybe “NYCeption,” both of which—and this is key—incorporate the letter c into the name]. The ideas Mamdani put forward clearly resonate with voters, and many see his progressivism as a viable alternative to the back-to-normal centrism that failed to curb MAGAism after Trump’s first term [Editor’s note: “NYSee” also works, because of the pun on the letter c]. When a candidate wins by 12 points after calling for higher taxes on the wealthy and foregrounding policies that help renters and the working class, we think it’s worth sitting up and taking notice [Editor’s note: you could even do something kind of dumb like “NYC’d It Coming” because it- you know what, let’s just move on].

If you look at the specific proposals Mamdani ran on, they’re extremely popular—not just in New York, but nationally. A poll released earlier this week showed net nationwide support for free childcare, rent freezes, government-run grocery stores, and free public buses, all of which were included in his platform. And here in Alexandria, the new 2025 Community Health Assessment found that safer, more affordable housing is residents’ top health priority. It’s clear that people want these kinds of things, and we should try to enact them here to the extent that we’re able! We already did the free public buses, and look how much people love them!! 

Our point is, the Mamdani primary victory is yet another signal that we’re facing a pivotal moment, one in which there’s an opportunity to harness anti-Trump sentiment and actually do some transformative shit. We don’t want to miss that chance. This is the time for leaders here in Alexandria to study the feasibility of congestion pricing, expand childcare subsidies, invest in community safety programs, double down on housing affordability with Zoning for Housing Phase 2 (yeah we said it, let’s go!!!). We’re at least as progressive as New York City, if not more so. Why let them have all the fun? It’s true that our size and legal authority are more limited than theirs, and our ability to pay for new programs—especially given the federal funding and employment situation—will be a limiting factor. But we owe it to ourselves and future generations to give it a shot. Plus, if local leaders start to emulate Mamdani, they can look forward to the Gazette Packet posting hit pieces about their 23andMe results and/or junior year AP Bio test scores.

Finally, one more thing, and we’re just throwing this out there… should we consider implementing ranked choice voting? RCV in the New York primary created a fascinating dynamic of collaboration among ideologically similar candidates and allowed voters to express their actual preferences instead of trying to triangulate which candidate “could win.” Also, Arlington does it! Just something to consider.

Look, in most ways we have no desire whatsoever to be more like New York City. The rats, first of all. No thanks! And being a city that never sleeps? That sounds exhausting. We don’t have time to stand in line for whatever food item is going viral at the moment and god knows we don’t need any more pizza. Alexandrians don’t want mayors with any quirks weirder than an excessive interest in trees or an untreated internet addiction. Plus we already have our own Staten Island, it’s called Fairfax County. But we can recognize the beginning of a movement when we see it, and we’re not too proud to hop on the bandwagon. New York may have Zohmentum, but we have Gaskimpetus [Editor’s note: *heavy sigh*]—so let’s put it to work.

Things You May Have Missed Because You Have a Life 

• Speaking of Gaskimpetus, Mayor Gaskins was included in a New York Times video feature about how local leaders are approaching their jobs in the current political climate. She gave some of the best answers of anyone interviewed and we’re not saying that because we’re biased no sir not at all.
• The Savannah Bananas took over the Dunkin’ Donuts on Richmond Highway to meet with fans. A sports team? In Potomac Yard? Alexa, play “The One That Got Away” by Katy Perry.
• ALXnow has a story about former mayor Allison Silberberg’s recently launched newsletter about national news items and definitely knowing what a hat trick is.
• And sticking with ALXnow links, they also ran a phenomenal profile of Living Legend Gayle Reuter and we’re highlighting it here because Gayle is the best and you should read about her.
• DASH is letting people choose a name for its new mascot. The catch is that you can only vote on four pre-approved options, none of which are Hot Wheels, Beau Stop, Ridey McFineface, Fare-enheit 451, or any other name that acknowledges the mascot’s smokeshow glow-up, which is frankly an outrage. What would you name the bus? Tell us in the comments!

Local Discourse Power Rankings

1. No HUDdle Offense (Last week: NR). On June 25 Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin joined Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Scott Turner for the unexpected announcement that HUD would become the first ever cabinet agency headquartered in Alexandria (cool!) by taking over the space happily occupied by the National Science Foundation (extremely not cool!!!!). At this point one must really start to wonder if Youngkin has a kink for cutting the ribbon on real estate proposals in Alexandria that piss people off, because boy howdy was this announcement met with a long wet fart noise of a reaction from most of the concerned parties. NSF is in a nearly brand-new purpose-built headquarters suited to the needs of their mission and they’re getting displaced by a sister federal agency because… the HUD Secretary needs a private dining room? Or something something GSA wants to make DOGE happy? Who the hell knows—what matters for us is that the powers that be somehow managed to make the news that our city might get a couple thousand new jobs feel like the most bummer news imaginable, so congrats or whatever. The last time this city had to deal with our buildings being occupied by an uninvited federal force was during the Civ—[reads note we were just handed, loudly clears throat] let’s continue on to the next item.
2. ICE, ICE? Baby? (Last week: NR). One of the more distressing elements of our national speed-run of the late Weimar Republic has been the appearance in cities across the country of federal agents (or more properly “federal agents”) dressed head to toe in the 1979 IRA spring collection. Ostensibly ICE agents, these masked gunmen have been forcibly kidnapping people off the streets, leading to protests in many communities as well as numerous crowd-sourced efforts to identify and share where these men dressed in cartel chic are operating at any given moment. It’s this last bit—the neighborhood watch for ICE—that has gotten slightly dicey, as local social media is now full of pictures of law enforcement officers doing law enforcement things accompanied by captions like “ICE RAID IN OLD TOWN??” and in most of these cases it’s either been APD or some other agency, leading to the mayor having to take time out of her day to reply to the post and be like “that’s not ICE, please chill out.” On some level, whatever—people post dumb stuff on the internet all the time [Editor’s note: is the dumb stuff on the internet… in the browser with us right now?]. And to be sure, we are not defending the excesses of law enforcement generally or the godawfulness of ICE more specifically. All we’re saying is there’s a reason there’s a famous ass nursery rhyme about crying wolf—doing it has real consequences and you were supposed to get that impulse scared out of you by the Brothers Grimm when you were a kid. Our community is traumatized enough without people screaming “BOO!!!” randomly on Facebook a couple times a day, everybody take a breath.
3. Democracy (Last week: 2). It’s been a few days since our last election, so obviously that means it’s time to start getting ready for the next one, and also the one after that. YEAH! SUFFRAGE!!! Our local Congressional representative and unofficial Pantene Pro-V spokesman Don Beyer recently announced that he’ll be running for reelection in 2026. Longtime readers know that we’re on the record as enthusiastic fans of our government’s only good Donald and deeply appreciate everything he’s done to fight for federal workers and other Northern Virginia residents. He also just won a spelling bee! It’s also true that he’s 75 years old, an age at which most people are solving murders in retirement homes (if what we’ve learned from TV shows and books is accurate), not leading the United States Congressional Joint Economic Committee. There’s been a lot of chatter about whether it’s time for generational transitions within the Democratic Party and passing the torch to younger leaders who are ready to step up—and while we think Rep. Beyer is great (again, spelling bee champ!!) and not necessarily the focus of this dialogue [Editor’s note: side eye at the District of Columbia] it’s still something to keep tabs on.
4. America’s Pastime (Last week: NR). As we mentioned in the last issue, the season is underway for our local collegiate summer baseball team, the Alexandria Aces. And they are ON FIRE (not literally, it would be impossible for anything to be on fire with all this rain)!!! One of their pitchers threw a no-hitter for the first time in team history, they're dominating the regional all-star team, and they're ranked higher in the standings than Alexandria on a Travel + Leisure list of the best small cities for accidentally joining a historical walking tour. It's just awesome. If you haven’t made it to a game yet, this is your sign. The vibes are always fun and wholesome. The snacks are salty. And unlike the Metro blue line from now through July 26, the Aces are guaranteed to show up.

Alexandria’s Hottest Club Is… Being Too Damn Hot

Let’s take a quick gander at the ol’ list of Virginia seasons, shall we? We know what you’re thinking—why would we need to consult a list, there are four seasons and we’re obviously in summer. Ah, but that’s where you’d be wrong, gentle reader. We’re here to remind you that our great Commonwealth in fact has twelve seasons and we are currently in one of the roughest of them.

That’s right, life’s pretty hard right now here on Hell’s Front Porch, where even the effort of trying to rock in a chair is going to leave your shirt soaked in sweat. It’s felt like every single day has brought a heat advisory from the National Weather Service, which on one hand is a bummer because it means it’s risky just to walk to the end of your driveway but on the other hand getting them means that at least one person is still working at the NWS so that’s neat!

It’s been so hot that DASH has taken to reminding people that while they are ostensibly a service for moving people around from place to place, they are also quite literally rolling air conditioners on wheels and doesn’t that sound pretty amazing right now?

And we know what you’re thinking—the best way to beat the heat is at the pool!! Well… that’s true, as long as the pool is open, which Old Town Pool regrettably was not during the worst of the June heatwave. They blamed filtration issues for the closure, which seems a little overly cautious. Speaking as elder millennials who grew up submerging ourselves in random bodies of standing water while roaming ferally without adult supervision, just let the kids swim, they’ll be fine.

That’s fine though, that’s ok, we don’t need a pool—we’ve got the amazing spray park at the Del Ray Gateway! It looks like this!

Oh hang on, that’s right… the Del Ray Gateway splash park actually still looks like this.

In fact it seems that the only people thriving during this brutal weather have been your FH Furrs (Furrses?) and your Michaels and Sons (Sonses?). With people’s cooling units dropping left and right the money must be absolutely rolling in for the HVAC repair companies. If you own a wrench and know what an evaporator coil is you should probably drop whatever career you’re currently pursuing and jump into the a/c installation game, this is your opportunity to get that bag.

So do what you need to do to stay cool, Alexandria, whether that’s temporarily moving into the frozen food section at Wegmans or sleeping with a tote bag full of ice packs next to you in the bed (a real thing one of us tried, it… kind of worked?). If we just hold on, eventually the weather will chill the fuck out and we’ll all know the sweet luxury of sitting down and not immediately sticking to the furniture. Hang in there!

Overheard in ALX

Posted by the city’s Bluesky account on Wednesday:

“The City of Alexandria is currently under a Thunderstorm Watch (until 9 p.m.), a Heat Advisory (until 7 p.m.), and a Flood Watch (until midnight). It's honestly a lot.”

That’s right, it was a hat trick.

One Awesome Thing in ALX

To wrap up our summer-themed issue [Editor’s note: is that what this was?] we wanted to highlight a city program that plays an important role in helping local youth pass the time in these hot months in a productive way that builds future opportunity. The Summer Youth Employment Program (SYEP) is a six-week program for residents 14-21 years old that provides between 20-30 hours of work a week at participating employer partners. 

The stats on the program are pretty impressive: in summer 2023 the program served 200 youth working a total of 22,000 hours (split about 50/50 between public and private employers). It was a first job for 61% of participants, and 55 employers participated.

The outcomes for these kinds of programs are pretty solid, as evidence from recent studies has shown that summer youth employment programs have a positive impact on criminal justice issues by reducing rates of arrest and incarceration for participating youth, and evidence further indicates benefits related to social-emotional growth and improved attitudes toward different talent pathways. Educational outcomes are positively affected too, as another study found participating in a summer jobs program made someone more likely to finish high school on time and more likely to save for college.

Pretty much the only negative thing to say about our SYEP program is that it’s not big enough! Spots in the program are limited by the number of participating employers as well as city support, so the more businesses that step up to offer sponsored job opportunities, the more students and youth the program can serve. So if you’re a business owner, think about giving this a shot next year. It’s a great way to give back while getting something valuable in return—like help around the office and a steady supply of Gen Z slang you definitely won’t understand but will absolutely try to use incorrectly. No cap!

You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.

ALXtra is a free-to-read newsletter about current events in Alexandria, Virginia. Subscribe to get it delivered directly to your inbox. Paid subscriptions give you access to the comments. Revenue from subscriptions gets used in the following ways: 1) a third goes into a charity fund, and every time that fund hits $500 we’ll make a donation to a local charity in the name of ALXtra’s readers and we’ll feature and write about that organization, like we did here, here, here, and here; 2) another third of the money will go toward investments in the newsletter; and 3) the final third of the money goes toward self-care for your two intrepid authors.