No Further Comment

Many people know the feeling of surviving a long and grueling ordeal with mixed emotions: proud you made it through, but concerned about what it did to you psychologically. Like finishing a marathon after crying, vomiting, and bargaining away your immortal soul to any higher power capable of making the pain stop—you’re proud you didn’t quit, but you’re not entirely sure the human mind and body were designed for this. That was basically the mood after last weekend’s 11-hour City Council hearing on the Braddock Road improvement project.

By any reasonable standard, eleven hours is a long period of time. Long enough to cover all three daily mealtimes. You could fly nonstop from Dulles to Lagos, Nigeria, in that span, or binge-watch all three Lord of the Rings extended editions. It’s long enough for Sting to have tantric sex with his wife and still have time to take her out for dinner and a movie afterward. We’re just saying, there are a lot of other things we all could have accomplished on Saturday while we were in the Del Pepper Community Resource Center. 

So around the 9 or 10 hour mark—when attendees were tired enough to hallucinate the spirit of George Washington floating down from the ceiling and declaring, “Surely we have discoursed sufficiently upon this carriageway”—many started to question why this was happening. Maybe it was because project supporters and opponents all felt very passionately about the outcome. Maybe it was because both sides had become locked in a commenter turnout arms race to win the “for/against” count. Or maybe it was because since the beginning of this initiative members of the public have been invited to weigh in on every conceivable detail of the proposed changes, encouraging them to escalate their You Idiots Are Doing This Road Wrong™ critiques to an entirely unprecedented level of specificity.

To be clear, we think it’s great that Alexandrians are so engaged in the workings of this city that they’re willing to sacrifice their free time for things like this. Public participation is genuinely important when our leaders are deliberating major decisions. And, at least in our opinion, it contributed to a good result in this case that will improve safety for all road users.

But there are real downsides to letting public hearings drag on this long! It’s exhausting for members of the public, city staff, and councilmembers who have to make important decisions at the end of the night. Do we really want them casting votes when fatigue has caused their brains to liquefy into soup? Excessively lengthy hearings can counterintuitively prevent full participation, as we saw later in the evening when many of the people called to speak had already gone home or logged out of Zoom. After hours of comment, similar points tend to get repeated; meanwhile the administrative costs of running the meeting continue to increase. The livestream even timed out at one point, for fuck’s sake! However you feel about the Braddock Road project, it seems like most people agree that the current process is not serving anyone very well.

This feels like an appropriate moment to take a step back and ask ourselves, what is the purpose of in-person hearings? We know that generally, public input allows decisionmakers to hear perspectives they might not otherwise consider (including personal experiences not captured in studies or data), establish a record underpinning their decision, and get a sense of how many people support or oppose the proposed action. But most of those goals can be achieved equally through the submission of written comments. Why do we need hearings? For one, emotional nuance and depth can really only be conveyed in person. Being face-to-face with decisionmakers enhances accountability as it forces them to actively listen and to look you in the eye when they vote no after acknowledging that they recently saw you almost get hit by a car on your bike (just as a purely hypothetical example!!). Getting everyone in a room together also encourages people on all sides of an issue to hear each other’s perspectives, and it allows folks to weigh in who might face technical or language barriers to submitting their feedback in writing.

So what can we do to further those goals while avoiding the downsides of a hearing that lasts long enough for leafy greens to spoil at room temperature? As others have suggested this week, process reforms might be in order. Cities around the country shorten the amount of time allotted per speaker if more than a certain number of people register (Palo Alto, CA; Arlington, TX) or if the comment period extends beyond a certain number of hours (Medford, MA). Some cap comments at a defined number of hours or limit the total number of speakers (Raleigh, NC), registering the support/oppose positions of anyone who was unable to speak (a piece of information we already collect on registration forms). These options are all lawful and would allow meetings to operate more efficiently without overly restricting input. Most importantly, they would answer the anguished call of former mayor Justin Wilson, who famously said after the eight-hour Seminary Road hearing in 2014, “Process-wise, we can’t do this again. We cannot do this again.” All current members of City Council should be interested in heeding his advice as that specific hearing is the medical reason he no longer has hair.

As a community, we should also reconsider how much public input we solicit on the technical safety components of public projects. We don’t hold popular votes on fire codes, bridge load limits, or the structural engineering standards for schools—those decisions are made by experts using evidence and established safety practices. Why are we treating roadway safety design differently? This isn’t to say the public shouldn’t have a voice in transportation projects. Public input is most valuable when residents identify needs and priorities, elected officials make policy choices, and trained professionals handle the technical design. That is very different from residents micromanaging staff, quibbling over the width and grade of the road, or conducting amateur traffic engineering studies [Editor’s note: why are you looking at me like that, I only counted 1,665 cars to see how many of them turned left IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL].

One last point: despite attracting the most attention, public comment only made up 4 of the hearing’s 11 hours. The staff presentation and council Q&A took an hour and a half, and the three separate presentations by appellants (with more questions) lasted another two. We should consider how these portions of the process could be streamlined as well. Could councilmembers have gotten questions answered before the hearing? Could the appeals have been consolidated or considered jointly, as routinely happens in litigation? Yes, there’s value in letting the public watch these presentations and exchanges play out, but we have to weigh that value against the very real costs, and make sure we’re leaving adequate time and mental energy for Council’s legislative deliberations.

Look, we know talking about procedure isn’t as titillating as other potential post-hearing topics such as whether this vote was orchestrated by the Del Ray Mafia or the circumstances in which it’s okay to accuse your neighbors of yard sign-related crimes. But this shit matters! Making meetings more efficient makes them more accessible and saves everyone involved from burnout. Alexandria is always going to be a city of highly engaged residents, but we’d all be happier if public participation were less of a marathon and more of a—well, not a sprint, exactly, but a 5K fun run sounds just about right.

Things You May Have Missed Because You Have a Life 

• We’re not going to write an entirely new shanty about it [Editor’s note: What! Why not?? I had an incredible wedding-based pun related to “Leave Her, Johnny” all ready to go!] but the City Clerk’s office performed the first tall ship Providence wedding last weekend. It looks like a lovely time for all involved, but the real headline from that linked pic is that the city has a second old timey town crier’s outfit?? In this economy?? The Clerk does look good in it though, got to give him that.
• ALXNow recently interviewed world champion whistler Chris Ulman, who lives in Alexandria. It’s a fun piece, and Chris seems like a great guy but we were honestly left a little confused because we had been under the impression that Arrangement in Grey and Black No. 1 (1871) was the world champion Whistler.
• Details were shared this week about the new Crooked Run taproom coming to Del Ray, and while we heartily endorse the opening of any new place to drink and hang out, the taproom is reportedly going to be only 800 square feet which is like, one and half Jesses wide and twelves Jesses long and that just doesn’t seem like enough space for all that many Jesses to sit and have a beer, honestly.
• Outdoor public pools in the city open tomorrow (you can find information about hours and admissions fees on the RPCA website) just in time for our utterly schizophrenic local weather to flip its previous setting of “moist blow torch” back to “melancholy walk along the Thames” so this may not be an ideal weekend for a dip. 
• Making good on a signature policy achievement of the current City Council, the city announced yesterday that they have fully transitioned to electric leaf blowers ahead of the November 17, 2026 ban on gas-powered blowers. We’re certainly excited about this news, but something about the photo shared by the city seemed a bit… off. Like there was something else happening here, something that’s not as black and white as it might first appear…

Local Discourse Power Rankings

1. Is Our Children Learning (Previous rank: 1). ACPS leadership and School Board members have continued to work over the past several weeks to close a $7.6 million gap in their budget for next fiscal year, and this blog post from the members of the Strategy and Accountability Committee helpfully lays out in detail the tick-tock of what got us to this point and is definitely worth your time to read. We also learned last week that School Board members submitted 97 questions to ACPS staff during this supplemental budget process and while we certainly admire the level of rigor and seriousness demonstrated by that, they couldn’t have submitted just two more questions to make life easier on those of us that frequently sling pop music reference pun headlines?? 99 Questions But a Budget Ain’t One would have been such a better tag for this item. Thanks for nothing guys. In all seriousness though, this is the major issue facing the city right now and it’s not yet commanding the attention that other recent issues have. Maybe that’s due to the small but significant differences in the timing of the budget processes between ACPS and the city (as the blog touches on) or maybe it’s due to something else, like passionate online engagement and conversation not fully catalyzing into effective advocacy. Whatever the cause, figuring out how to significantly elevate the focus and attention on schools should be the biggest project we all tackle in the year ahead. 
2. Women Be Leading (Last week: NR). For the first time in our city’s 276-year history we finally have a majority woman Council and we could not be more excited about it. Sister Cities? More like it’s our city, sisters!! [Editor’s note: Jesse, I am going to slash the tires on your car I swear to god]. Does it mean this Council will be smarter than any before it? Probably. Does it mean this Council will be better prepared and harder working than any before it? Also yes [Editor’s note: ok this is better]. Does it mean this Council will be at risk for bear attacks to a degree we’ve never before seen or had to prepare for? Unfortunately yes, it does [Editor’s note: you were doing so well, what the fuck happened]. It’s a milestone achievement no matter how you measure it, and we couldn’t be more proud.
3. The Shape of Things to Come (Last week: 1). Last week we were making DC square, and this week we’re watching Virginia’s 8th congressional district expand and contract like it’s Brendan Fraser trying to win an Academy Award. We’re honestly still reeling from the whiplash of passing the redistricting referendum (suck it, Mike Johnson’s House majority!!) to having it thrown out by the Virginia State Supreme Court (suck it, will of the Virginia electorate!!) and it all happened so fast that we hardly had time to reflect on what we lost (aside from political momentum and self determination of course). In the course of a week and half, Congressman Don Beyer went from representing the platonic ideal of a congressional district (compact, reasonably coherent constituency) to a meandering fever dream of a congressional district (how do you do, Busch Gardens voters) and then back to the familiar comforts of Original Formula 8th District. Do you think he’s disappointed that he won’t get to represent the oystermen of the new 8th district (RIP) after all? We bet he is. He famously is a guy that goes to great lengths to be expertly prepared (witness his recent enrollment in graduate courses on computer science so he could be a better member of the science, space, and technology subcommittee in the House) so we bet he had already studiously worked to learn his Olde Salts from his Dixie Belles, his Skipjacks from his Yorksters. Could you even imagine him describing a Sewansecott as having a smooth, creamy texture and a delicate, light sweetness when everyone knows it actually has a bold burst of briny saltiness followed by a smooth, creamy finish with subtle buttery notes?? He would never! All that work, for nothing. That’s the real tragedy here.
4. We’ve Got Uniforms and Everything (Last week: NR). There was a great piece in the Zebra this week about the incredibly impressive growth and success of Alexandria Little League. The topline numbers are eye-popping—a record 820 players enrolled, including an also-record 111 softball players—but so too is knowing that they do all that work with players from age 4 all the way up through age 16 as an entirely volunteer-run organization. The league has also built closer partnerships with ACHS to foster a pipeline of mentorship and player development that goes in both directions, younger players being encouraged to go watch the high school games, and many high school players coming back to umpire the younger games. And don’t even get us started about how this league has cornered the market on cuteness in Alexandria. Did you see the video of Mayor Zeke talking about throwing out the commemorative first pitch? Did you see the photo on the league’s Instagram of the tee ball DH (designated hugger) sprinting home holding tight to his lovey?? We’d run through a brick wall for that kid, and honestly for this league too.

Alexandria’s Hottest Club Is… the Braddock Road Public Hearing

Astute readers probably inferred from this issue’s lead essay about the 11-hour Braddock Road hearing that there were a lot of folks in attendance. Even in the heavily overscheduled middle of Maycember/May-hem/whatever the hell we’re calling this month now, the hearing captured so much of our collective attention that the Zebra ran an article about people watching it on their phones from other events, a clear sign that our city needs to substantially increase funding for mental health programs. It seemed like the only person not hyperfixated on the fate of this east-west minor arterial was aforementioned Seminary Road hearing survivor Justin Wilson, who spent the day gleefully posting pictures to his 87 social media accounts demonstrating the importance of scalp sunscreen at the Nationals game and preparing to take down a jumbo platter of sushi. And honestly? Good for him.

But the people listening, watching, and trolling us from afar were missing out on a whole vibe in the Del Pepper Center aka the Pepper Grinder [Editor’s note: no]. This hearing had everything: cute kids, cool teens, slam poetry, large and small maps, powerpoint slides with numbers only half the room understood, surprise touchscreens, bingo cards in the overflow room, condoms in the bathrooms, finger snapping, a guy who kept yelling at the people snapping because he thought they were clapping, and so, so many smells, like truly all the smells—but most importantly, a lot of inspiring Alexandrians who turned out to support safer streets, outnumbering project opponents by a roughly 2-to-1 margin. 

We collected written versions of the comments that we and some of our friends presented to Council—you can read them here. (Let us know if you spoke and want your comments to be included for posterity!) Some highlights from the webcast are captured below. And for boss-level sickos, you can watch the full recording of the hearing on the city’s website here.

Overheard in ALX

From the Volunteer Alexandria post about the Sails on the Potomac Festival:

“AlexandriaVA.gov will be hosting four tall ships, including our own Providence, during a three-day festival on the waterfront. Join us to volunteer on the ships ...”

Hang on just a minute now, a government trying to get people to “volunteer” on ships during a time of war? That’s impressment! Wait, is this because of the shanties?? We’re being targeted with a press gang because you heard the shanties and think we’re real sailors?? We take it all back! We’re so sorry! These hands can’t split apart tarred rope fiber, what about my manicure?? [Editor’s note: ok Jesse, that’s enough, calm down]. 

One Awesome Thing in ALX

At the Braddock Road hearing on Saturday [Editor’s note: yes we’re still talking about the hearing—that’s what we call a narrative throughline, bitches!!] there was one group of spectators who were unlike the rest. They weren’t there to speak or to advocate, they weren’t journalists, they weren’t even there to monitor the overflow room for disrespectful behavior (a duty that fell to city staff we hope were getting paid triple overtime). They were high school students, and they were there to learn. Mainly about how local government works, but we’re guessing they also picked up some memorable lessons about bike lane discourse in Alexandria based on this cartoon that one of them drew while observing. 

These students were at the Del Pepper Center aka the Pepper Pot [Editor’s note: still no] because they’re participating in a program called ACHS Senior Experience, which allows high school seniors who can end their fourth quarter two weeks early without negatively affecting their ability to graduate in June to complete a two-week off-campus internship or service project of their choosing. These three students chose to shadow Councilman Canek Aguirre and holy hell did they pick quite the two-week window in which to do so, we hope ACHS provides them with free counseling afterwards. We also hope that for their capstone presentation next week they discuss what they uncovered about the well-funded bike lobby because we’re still waiting for our checks.

Seriously though, this is a very cool program that helps kids transition between the classroom and the adult world, it’s very cool that members of Council agree to mentor them, and it’s super duper cool that these young folks are budding local government nerds just like us. If they’re looking for further experience in paying way too much attention to important Alexandria civic issues such as pizzeria density and which regional politicians are competing on the latest season of “MILF Manor,” we would happily take them on as interns. If nothing else, we’ll expand their vocabulary in ways their parents will absolutely hate.

You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.

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